It's hurt. Yess. i have to admit it.
Hey MyGoodListener, why you always being unpredictable person sayangg ? huhuu. i know you want me to be happy. but not with this way honey. Honestly, it's actually hurt me much when i knew the truth. but, don't worry, because of you, my best buddy ever, i still can smile when i heard about it. You did it, you ask him to do that, just because want to see me happy. i'm so touch. seriously :')
But pleaseee, don't do it again. asking someone to 'like' me, is so not a good thing at all. i don't want someone to like me because you asked him to do that. No. pleasee. i want someone who like me just because who i am. i want someone who like me with all his heart. not just because he felt sympathy on me or because you asked him to like me just to make me happy. ouhh, it's really hurt me so badly. it's not make me happy actually, it's make me felt very guilty. i'm sorry. but yess, seriously.
HONESTLY. yess. that's very important in every relationship. so do i. I want honestly to be the main point in my relationship, with someone. So please, if you did not strong enough or ready to have a serious relationship with me, pleasee, don't ever give hope, or maybe something that can make me keep hope with you.
You. yess. thank you so much for being honest with me. i'm so sorry. you have to pretend that you don't have any feeling toward her. but the truth is, you love her damn much, right ?? i felt so guilty. to be honest, yes, all your words make me hurt. but i do not blame it on you. seriously not. It's good for telling me the truth than being fake. tired right for being fake all the time. i'm sorry. Btw, i really appreciated your effort just to make me happy as her wish. just be cool. we still friend :) but, please, after this, just be yourself. don't you ever push yourself to do something that you can't do. pleasee. Yes, i have to admit, when you told me the truth, and when the time i replied every message that said you actually love her so much, i'm crying. yaaa. i'm crying. i don't know why. suddenly my tears drop down. yeahh, maybe because i felt so guilty. because of me, because of both agreement, and maybe because i've start love you. hahahaa.
Yeahh, my level of love toward you just starting with love as a friend, but after we had so much conversation, and i'm starting feel comfortable with you, the level of love is increase. but, after you told me the truth, i think the best way now is, i have to bring down back the level of love to love as a friend. it's okey. Your decision to tell me the truth is the best decision actually. you know why, because, at least, i can control myself not too put a hope on you :) i'm sorry, because you have to be fake with me. it's tired right. sorry once again.
For me now, just keep calm, and keep praying. just believe in Allah. He already set our next level in our life. we just keep praying and istiqomah with it. don't worry. we're still friend k. just message like usual. talking about everything. be happy. and again, i really appreciated when you said that you wanna know me well. insyaAllah, anytime. the best way is, yahh, know each other first. but i'll never forget one thing, that you still love her. btw, if one day, you already found someone in your life, just make sure that there's no more other girls in your mind. clean up your heart about the past. and please take care of her well :)
much love, Adilla .